The Interview: Barcelinha
Tell us a bit about yourself …
At about 10 am on a probably cold February morning, the doctor extracted me from my mother's womb – Private Sorrow was born. Because God is an ironic bastard, as the first child of a family of doctors, I had a medical condition, that was surgically fixed 2 years later.
The first few years were spent with my grandparents on father's side, since my parents were relocated by the “regime” in the country. I was a sickly child, with various digestive problems, going into my early teen years, which would explain why I look underdeveloped even now, when I'm “pushing 30”.
And yet, I was a happy, normal, quite pampered kid, getting the best care, the best doctors, making friends easily. This changed when we moved house after 1st grade, because the new community didn't quite receive me with open arms. I became closed up, friendless, to the point of being bullied by the fat chick in class because I was skinny.
I enjoyed high school, as a time for discovering music, football(ers) and boys. I've always wanted to stand out, whether I was the “weird chick with the walkman” - high school, the “Barca chick” - uni or simply the “token alkie” - at work lol.
I am a very contradicting individual, either dynamic or lazy [or as I put it, comfortable], shy or loud, emotional or plain cold, impulsive or over analytical. I am usually trigger happy: act now, think thoroughly later, which I can say cost me certain times, but I'm not willing to change that.
I believe I have above average moral standards and an innate spirit of justice and from the age of 12, I knew I wanted to do law, and even if my conviction faltered over the years and I had my moments of doubt regarding this career, at this moment, I feel it is maybe the best choice I ever made.
I love reading good literature and listening to music, mainly old stuff, as you may have gathered from the music forum. I am a passionate individual and I take way too many things personally. I love football and I consider it one of my 4 main interests in life [reading, music and men being the other three].
I don't think I'm an achiever, but so far, more or less out of hard work mixed with chance, I have made it pretty well. At this point in my life, I could say I am emotionally stable and professionally content,.
Can you explain the offside rule without using google/wikipedia/etc?
I suppose I could: when the ball is passed, the person it's intended to reach shouldn't be in front of opponent players. It's calculated at the moment of the pass, duh.
Did I pass??
Have you ever considered breast implants?
No, I'm content with what I have, as shocking as this may seem to you. Just a few weeks ago, I managed to find a bra my size, 28AA – at the kids' section.
Favourite pizza?
Mushrooms, ham, olives, NO cheese,
Is it ironic that you are being interviewed here by Kirstie, whose (much appreciated) hard work has resurrected this great section that you single-handedly fvcked up and discarded to the trash heap of S24-7?
I think the interviews died off on my term because people boycotted them by not voting in polls, or not sending questions, and generally not giving a damn. I think it had a lot more to do with who was running them rather than then actual system.
I have the feeling that Yiddo is rightfully using her good rep on the forum to keep the interviews going, props to her for that though.
And anyway, Berean, I think you're just bitter you never got to play interviewer.
Have you ever defended anyone in a beardist lawsuit?
I cannot yet practice in court, but God is my witness, I'd do it, turn the case into the greatest precedent ever and even work pro bono.
Do you like cheesy Wotsits?
Well, I don't like cheese, so no. Sorry if I missed the innuendo.
Why do you portray yourself to be such a slag on here?
Because that's what I long ago felt the forum wanted of me in order to fit in. As far as I can remember, I beat both Bardez and Yiddo in the first UEFA MvM I took part in cause of the “slut” pic I had as campaign poster, so I guess that worked, and frankly, no-one seems to mind a little flirt.
On the other hand, I'm a red blooded woman and I believe expressing yourself and your sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, where do you want me to be a slag, at the office?
There are only 2 male colleagues, one is happily married and the other one is ugly and possibly gay.
It's all done with lots of irony and self irony on my part, [including the above-mentioned campaign poster] but most of you don't see that and I'm not the type to explain jokes.
Where do you hope to be in 5 years time?
Hopefully anywhere but Romania. I want to have become a full trademark attorney, a lawyer with my own practice and maybe even moved out of my parents'.
Ideally, I see myself practicing IP law in Barcelona, but I am too much of a comfortable person to actually leave the country, unless I'm thoroughly convinced, or politically things go worse!
10 members of the forum - 5 you're going to go out on the town with, and 5 you're going to push off a cliff. Name 'em off and why ...
I like so many people here! If I have to pick five, I'd pick the Barca forum lasses, Super Pibe and Gumball.
Pibe and I go a long way back, I believe he's the first person off this forum that I spoke on MSN with. Gumball seems like a nice guy, and brings the fresh sexy to the forum. Barcachica is my soulmate and e-wife, Viva Barca is my protegee and fcb<3[barca] shares my weird taste in men.
Us girls can finally discuss the degree of Pique's hotness with or without the beard and since we're all from different backgrounds and cultures united by our passion for Barca, we could have a great night.
Or I can go partying again with the Lisbon based members, cause I was off that night . Hurley can come too. There's only 2 people I really dislike: ITF, cause he's a hypocrite, and Cal, because he offends me on so many levels. But let not let them be lonely in their fall, Libertine and Thiggy can join them. Maybe the most offensive EPL noob too.
What’s your job occupation?
I work as an associate for a multinational Industrial Property firm, operating all over Eastern Europe, the Balkans and the CIS. Basically, and although I am not a trademark agent yet, I take care of contentious and non-contentious trademark and design matters, from registration to drafting opinions in prosecution and enforcement cases. In about 1 year and a half, I can take the exam for becoming a TM attorney, which would enable me to represent clients before the PTO [patent trademark office].
Lately, I have become a trainee lawyer and I hope this will offer me even more options in the future as well.
Your profile says you have an interest in writing. What have you wrote in the past?
I used to write short odd stories, usually not longer than a few word pages. Just some random things that inspired me. I've always been quite creative, starting with my chaptered written documentary about a civilization on Venus, living in a country called Metafozia when I was 10.
My best work of my “serious era” would be either the Left Hand Trilogy – completely lost in various pc crashes – about the actions of the a girl's left hand in various stages of her drug abuse or The House of Sadness, recovered from sent emails by miracle, essentially about the power of human cruelty that not even love can overcome.
Anyway, a couple of years ago, I got a terrible case of writer's block and thus these days I only write silly sentimental stories,
I don't think any of it is good enough to be published though, except maybe my Barca Diary running from the 2001-2002 season up to 2006ish, when I replaced it with the forum.
Being a career criminal and all, wouldn't you be more at home supporting Real Madrid?
I like what this question implies, but I'll have to disappoint you, I'm not a career crim. Not even an occasional one.
You like talking about sex a lot, sex with other women even, sex with members on this board, sex with football players, sex with just about anyone actually. Do you actually have a lot of sex?
In the undying words of Lane Kim from Gilmore girls: “those who can, do. Those who cannot, talk about it” – approximate quote. I'd love to have more sex, but unfortunately, I don't have anyone to do it with. Trust me, one night stands with Romanian guys is not something I'd want to do. And my last bf couldn't keep it up, because life is ironic like that.
Thought so. Why do you talk about it so much then? Is it just for the attention?
Refer to the above. It's anyone's ideal to have more sex, or it should be, since sex is a natural, healthy activity that makes people [at least one of them] feel good afterward. So, yeah, I talk about it so much, in hope I'd somehow summon it.
Besides, the 'she'd get it 'we see in so many threads where women are mentioned is no different than me saying I'd fuck Ibrahimovic's brains out really, so quit applying double standards.
You don't like it when people say bad things about you. But do you appreciate that when you throw so much attention on yourself some of it will turn negative?
Well, it is the peril of attention seeking, but frankly, I've learned to stop caring so much over that what's said on a footie forum. And I don't think anyone likes people saying bad things about them, do you?
For instance some of the people here that mercilessly bully Scoot, etc, cannot even take a mild joke about them being chubby chasers.
I'm assuming a lot of the questions directed at you in this interview will be sexually motivated. What do you think that says about how you are percieved on here and do you like it?
I have taken the slag role upon myself and if I could start all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. What does annoy me is that everyone here seems to have such a high moral standard and is so easily offended by my overt sexuality. At least publicly.
It's not Quakers America, is it?
Sith or Jedi
I grew up impersonating Princess Leia [or rather “being” Leia'] so Jedi it is.
Why do you insist on giving girls a bad name by constantly displaying that sex appeal is your first trait when it comes to judging footballers for example?
Haha, when have I ever done that? Seriously, do you think I consider Yaya Toure world class and ahead of Mascherano cause I like his hammies?
I never judge footballers' skills based on their looks, and if I ever said omg let's buy X cause he's hot, I was most likely joking. But sarcasm doesn't travel well over the internet.
Ok, so basically I sometimes comment on how X Y Z looks like just to spice things up and I find it funny to see the reactions, just some light fun, because people should already know I'm just joking. For instance, it so happens that Gourcuff, who is a greatly talented footballer – I think anyone that ever saw him play would agree - and would fit nicely with us, is also drop dead gorgeous. Why should I ignore that?
Why can guys watch Female Tennis for some hottie, and even openly claim that's the only reason they bare to watch, and I can't express my opinion regarding a good looking footballer? Hmmmm???
But yeah, keep applying double standards.
Your favourite childhood memory?
Definitely the day I reenacted Star Wars Episode IV with my toys. I even built the X-wings battleships the Imperial fleet used from some sort of lego we had back then. I was six and I player Leia's role myself, since we didn't have barbie dolls in Romania yet. I think my fav soft toy animal, a human-like dog played Luke and an orange plastic bear was Han Solo.
If you could sign anyone for Barca who would it be?
Yoann Gourcuff. CAUSE HE'S SO HAWT!!!!!
Frankly, I'm most concerned about the defence. We have a packed midfield – even if Xavi's gonna turn 30 next year and Iniesta seems to have recovered rather badly from the injury – and we have a nice attack, because I believe Bojan is the future.
But the back 4 has been rather off this season. So I'll say Albiol, cause he deserves a nice team.
Why you so weird?
Because it's fun. I don't want to be average, I want to stand out.
Michael Jackson … A legend that will never die?
Never been a fan, but I think the music industry owes him a lot, so he was pretty much a legend while alive and now that he's dead, his flaws [aka the possible child molester persona] will be forgiven and he will live on through the music alone.
Who is your favourite poster on the forum and why?
These days, Hurley – cause he antagonizes me SO goddamn much, it's almost sexual.
If you could have an orgy with 5 guys from the forum, who would they be?
The Portuguese forum.
Do you still hate Yiddo and Ruudlover?
I don't hate them, I actually find it funny how they “consider themselves better” and hold the moral high ground when it comes to hot footballers........lol.
Truth is, they're both inferior to me, upbringing, education, culture, style, so I can just watch them bury themselves with their anti me tirades from my throne.
Benfica are scum, yet you lend them players. Why?
I'm not in charge of FCB, unfortunately, otherwise that sort of outrageous thing wouldn't happen. Besides, we lend them a crap player muahahahahah.
How long until I see you working as a hooker in Amsterdam like the rest of your peers?
Hold your horses big boy and stick to wanking over printouts of me, cause that won't ever happen.
How old do you have to be before you can say someone died of old age?
With the medical progress of today, I'd say over 90. My Grandma is turning 80 soon and I wouldn't say she's old.
What got you into watching football?
Ronaldo the original. I saw him in a Nike? ad in 1998 and thought he was cute. I decided I wanted to see more of him than 30 seconds randomly during the day, so I started watching football. Funny, but the only Brazil games I remember watching at that WC were the semifinal and the final. Besides Ronaldo and some others, I discovered the sport itself, and frankly, with both parents and grandpas crazy about it, it was just a matter of time until I became a fan as well.
So, we know that all gypsies are crooks, the question is are you innately born with these "skills" or is there some kind of village apprenticeship you have to go through?
OK. I could probably reply this in a funny way, humouring you. But I think A. stereotyping gypsies as thieves and crooks is really not helping their cause and it should probably stop.
And B. stereotyping all Romanians to be gypsies is just like saying that all English have bad teeth, all Americans are fat and stupid and all French cowards, etc etc.
I can take the gypsy banter, but I think it's overdone by now.
Why do you get so obsessed with footballers?
I get obsessed with a lot of things, but since this is a football forum, discussing footballers comes up a lot more, doesn't it?
Have you ever been abroad?
Yeah, it's my aim to get out of this country at least once a year. I've been to Lisbon, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Budapest and hopefully more to come soon
Why Barcelona?
I started off as a mere fangirl, and I think the fact that I'm willing to admit it should mean I have outgrown this. So, I had a huge crush on Kluivert and followed him and his career, even though the means were limited those days. And then he moved to stay to Barca and between 1999 and 2001, I turned into a proper fan, because, in my heart, the club simply got bigger than the player, to the point of being my favourite thing ever for a while.
To my good name, I never rooted for AC Milan.
Is there an EPL team you follow?
I like Liverpool, to this day, I consider them my second team, but I don't follow them anymore [as in watching games etc.] because I don't have the time really. I do want them to do well and I considered their victory over Milan scum a personal victory of mine
Is it really humid, or is your insane afro intentional?
Haha. I wouldn't call it intentional, but it's naturally curly and I can't be bothered nor want to straighten it. Are you saying it doesn't look good on me??
How do you feel about DP?
Despite some misunderstandings in the past, I think he's a nice guy, just drew some silly conclusions from my ironic speech. I get along with him - apart from all issues concerning Zlatan - and I hope he doesn't think I'm a stupid fangirl anymore.
Why do you have such a low self esteem?
I have tremendous high self esteem. I am vain as fvck and consider myself the greatest. However, I function on feedback, just like any entertainer. And not getting any, or getting negative feedback can get me down, for a while. Then I remember I am amazing or someone makes me laugh and it's all right in my world again.
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?
Haha, no. The underground is actually state property and they can expropriate you if oil/gas etc is found. Or not. I cannot be bothered to check the law.
There’s negativity between you and Yiddo, why is this?
We're the titties alpha and omega .
OK, serious answer: I don't like her, and she doesn't like me, and quite frankly, if you cannot see the differences between us that lead to this mutual dislike, then you need to check your understanding levels.
What makes you so sure you are going to heaven?
I'm not so sure or sure at all, but this is because I don't see religion like this, with such definitive distinctions: bad guys, good guys, heaven, hell. First of all, it is a little simplistic to believe that all mankind eventually divides in good people, that will go to a place of eternal bliss and bad people, that will rot in the pits of damnation. Most people aren't all good nor all bad. Heck, everyone's mixed.
And second of all, the idea of living all your conscious life only for whatever might happen in the afterlife is a little depressing.
In short: I don't believe in heaven/hell, and I have the feeling this was an invention of the Church, to keep people in check. But seriously, thanks for the question, because it got me thinking and got me to conclude this, as these sort of things don't really come up in daily conversation.
Regarding the above, are you concerned that you may not make it?
Nope, cause there's nowhere to make it to. Life is what you live on earth. I have no concerns/inquisitions/fears over what happens after you croak.
Why are you such an attention seeker?
Because it's fun innit. Frankly, I don't see why this is a bad thing. Blending in is for sheep, and frankly, I don't want to be part of the herd. I'd rather stand out and if I have to act up for it, then I will.
What other sports do you like? Do you play any yourself?
I'm a calamity with sports, I can't even kick a ball, so nah. I think I could be good at something individual that requires a lot of discipline, but I never really tried anything.
I used to like basketball when I was in high school, mainly cause I got to see the school team's games and we were the best! I still like to watch high profile games, but I barely have time for football these days.
Same F1. Major Ferrari/Schumacher fan, and I used to be glued to the TV during his confrontations with Hakkinen. Ditto for Moto GP, but I just don't have time for anything. It's almost a miracle that I still try to watch other games than Barca's.
Do you believe in signs? And if you do, do you 'look' for them in order to decide on something in your life?
I do. It's not that I believe in the paranormal, but I think some things are more than just they appear to be. I also believe coincidences have more to them. But I don't “look” for them, they just seem to happen. But they do influence my life a lot, I guess – basically the last 2 years and a bit have been controlled by coincidences – helping me see things in a different perspective. Not necessarily the good perspective, and I often take silly, rash decision, but that is, after-all, who I am.
How do you deal with negativity/criticism?
I have a short fuse, so not well. Especially when [I feel] it's not warranted. But any feedback is better than none and I usually learn from it. On the spot though, I feel wronged and I can feel blood pulsating in my ears.
Do look forward to settling down with a hubby and maybe a bunch of kids etc?
Haha, yeah. Despite all the sexsexsex I seem to spout around, I am a one man's woman. And I can see myself with kids, it'd be great, I'd love a couple of kids.
However, the chances of that happening aren't high. In high school, I was predicted to divorce a few times, which seems likely, since the men I'd marry wouldn't be the man I need, and funnily enough, I don't want children out of wedlock.
I may end up alone with a dozen cats.
What forum member would you like to see return the most, if any?
Rob The Red, he was quite an awesome guy, nice sense of humour and I liked his thinking in certain matters. Also, he had that Imperial Trooper pelvic thrust MSN smilie....:which I lost. If anyone has it, please do not hesitate!
Would you ever like to move to another country? If so, where and why?
Yeah, Romania's a shithole that's not gonna fix itself...ever. Of all places, I'd love to move to Barcelona, mainly so I can be close to the team and maybe even see some games. But I guess that's any away Barca fan's dream.
I guess that seems like a very simplistic answer, but the food is excellent, the weather is nice, the people are cool, the city is beautiful and buzzing, I feel I'd fit in, somehow. Maybe one day, Barcachica and I can move there and live happily ever after.
At about 10 am on a probably cold February morning, the doctor extracted me from my mother's womb – Private Sorrow was born. Because God is an ironic bastard, as the first child of a family of doctors, I had a medical condition, that was surgically fixed 2 years later.
The first few years were spent with my grandparents on father's side, since my parents were relocated by the “regime” in the country. I was a sickly child, with various digestive problems, going into my early teen years, which would explain why I look underdeveloped even now, when I'm “pushing 30”.
And yet, I was a happy, normal, quite pampered kid, getting the best care, the best doctors, making friends easily. This changed when we moved house after 1st grade, because the new community didn't quite receive me with open arms. I became closed up, friendless, to the point of being bullied by the fat chick in class because I was skinny.
I enjoyed high school, as a time for discovering music, football(ers) and boys. I've always wanted to stand out, whether I was the “weird chick with the walkman” - high school, the “Barca chick” - uni or simply the “token alkie” - at work lol.
I am a very contradicting individual, either dynamic or lazy [or as I put it, comfortable], shy or loud, emotional or plain cold, impulsive or over analytical. I am usually trigger happy: act now, think thoroughly later, which I can say cost me certain times, but I'm not willing to change that.
I believe I have above average moral standards and an innate spirit of justice and from the age of 12, I knew I wanted to do law, and even if my conviction faltered over the years and I had my moments of doubt regarding this career, at this moment, I feel it is maybe the best choice I ever made.
I love reading good literature and listening to music, mainly old stuff, as you may have gathered from the music forum. I am a passionate individual and I take way too many things personally. I love football and I consider it one of my 4 main interests in life [reading, music and men being the other three].
I don't think I'm an achiever, but so far, more or less out of hard work mixed with chance, I have made it pretty well. At this point in my life, I could say I am emotionally stable and professionally content,.
Can you explain the offside rule without using google/wikipedia/etc?
I suppose I could: when the ball is passed, the person it's intended to reach shouldn't be in front of opponent players. It's calculated at the moment of the pass, duh.
Did I pass??
Have you ever considered breast implants?
No, I'm content with what I have, as shocking as this may seem to you. Just a few weeks ago, I managed to find a bra my size, 28AA – at the kids' section.
Favourite pizza?
Mushrooms, ham, olives, NO cheese,
Is it ironic that you are being interviewed here by Kirstie, whose (much appreciated) hard work has resurrected this great section that you single-handedly fvcked up and discarded to the trash heap of S24-7?
I think the interviews died off on my term because people boycotted them by not voting in polls, or not sending questions, and generally not giving a damn. I think it had a lot more to do with who was running them rather than then actual system.
I have the feeling that Yiddo is rightfully using her good rep on the forum to keep the interviews going, props to her for that though.
And anyway, Berean, I think you're just bitter you never got to play interviewer.
Have you ever defended anyone in a beardist lawsuit?
I cannot yet practice in court, but God is my witness, I'd do it, turn the case into the greatest precedent ever and even work pro bono.
Do you like cheesy Wotsits?
Well, I don't like cheese, so no. Sorry if I missed the innuendo.
Why do you portray yourself to be such a slag on here?
Because that's what I long ago felt the forum wanted of me in order to fit in. As far as I can remember, I beat both Bardez and Yiddo in the first UEFA MvM I took part in cause of the “slut” pic I had as campaign poster, so I guess that worked, and frankly, no-one seems to mind a little flirt.
On the other hand, I'm a red blooded woman and I believe expressing yourself and your sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, where do you want me to be a slag, at the office?
There are only 2 male colleagues, one is happily married and the other one is ugly and possibly gay.
It's all done with lots of irony and self irony on my part, [including the above-mentioned campaign poster] but most of you don't see that and I'm not the type to explain jokes.
Where do you hope to be in 5 years time?
Hopefully anywhere but Romania. I want to have become a full trademark attorney, a lawyer with my own practice and maybe even moved out of my parents'.
Ideally, I see myself practicing IP law in Barcelona, but I am too much of a comfortable person to actually leave the country, unless I'm thoroughly convinced, or politically things go worse!
10 members of the forum - 5 you're going to go out on the town with, and 5 you're going to push off a cliff. Name 'em off and why ...
I like so many people here! If I have to pick five, I'd pick the Barca forum lasses, Super Pibe and Gumball.
Pibe and I go a long way back, I believe he's the first person off this forum that I spoke on MSN with. Gumball seems like a nice guy, and brings the fresh sexy to the forum. Barcachica is my soulmate and e-wife, Viva Barca is my protegee and fcb<3[barca] shares my weird taste in men.
Us girls can finally discuss the degree of Pique's hotness with or without the beard and since we're all from different backgrounds and cultures united by our passion for Barca, we could have a great night.
Or I can go partying again with the Lisbon based members, cause I was off that night . Hurley can come too. There's only 2 people I really dislike: ITF, cause he's a hypocrite, and Cal, because he offends me on so many levels. But let not let them be lonely in their fall, Libertine and Thiggy can join them. Maybe the most offensive EPL noob too.
What’s your job occupation?
I work as an associate for a multinational Industrial Property firm, operating all over Eastern Europe, the Balkans and the CIS. Basically, and although I am not a trademark agent yet, I take care of contentious and non-contentious trademark and design matters, from registration to drafting opinions in prosecution and enforcement cases. In about 1 year and a half, I can take the exam for becoming a TM attorney, which would enable me to represent clients before the PTO [patent trademark office].
Lately, I have become a trainee lawyer and I hope this will offer me even more options in the future as well.
Your profile says you have an interest in writing. What have you wrote in the past?
I used to write short odd stories, usually not longer than a few word pages. Just some random things that inspired me. I've always been quite creative, starting with my chaptered written documentary about a civilization on Venus, living in a country called Metafozia when I was 10.
My best work of my “serious era” would be either the Left Hand Trilogy – completely lost in various pc crashes – about the actions of the a girl's left hand in various stages of her drug abuse or The House of Sadness, recovered from sent emails by miracle, essentially about the power of human cruelty that not even love can overcome.
Anyway, a couple of years ago, I got a terrible case of writer's block and thus these days I only write silly sentimental stories,
I don't think any of it is good enough to be published though, except maybe my Barca Diary running from the 2001-2002 season up to 2006ish, when I replaced it with the forum.
Being a career criminal and all, wouldn't you be more at home supporting Real Madrid?
I like what this question implies, but I'll have to disappoint you, I'm not a career crim. Not even an occasional one.
You like talking about sex a lot, sex with other women even, sex with members on this board, sex with football players, sex with just about anyone actually. Do you actually have a lot of sex?
In the undying words of Lane Kim from Gilmore girls: “those who can, do. Those who cannot, talk about it” – approximate quote. I'd love to have more sex, but unfortunately, I don't have anyone to do it with. Trust me, one night stands with Romanian guys is not something I'd want to do. And my last bf couldn't keep it up, because life is ironic like that.
Thought so. Why do you talk about it so much then? Is it just for the attention?
Refer to the above. It's anyone's ideal to have more sex, or it should be, since sex is a natural, healthy activity that makes people [at least one of them] feel good afterward. So, yeah, I talk about it so much, in hope I'd somehow summon it.
Besides, the 'she'd get it 'we see in so many threads where women are mentioned is no different than me saying I'd fuck Ibrahimovic's brains out really, so quit applying double standards.
You don't like it when people say bad things about you. But do you appreciate that when you throw so much attention on yourself some of it will turn negative?
Well, it is the peril of attention seeking, but frankly, I've learned to stop caring so much over that what's said on a footie forum. And I don't think anyone likes people saying bad things about them, do you?
For instance some of the people here that mercilessly bully Scoot, etc, cannot even take a mild joke about them being chubby chasers.
I'm assuming a lot of the questions directed at you in this interview will be sexually motivated. What do you think that says about how you are percieved on here and do you like it?
I have taken the slag role upon myself and if I could start all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. What does annoy me is that everyone here seems to have such a high moral standard and is so easily offended by my overt sexuality. At least publicly.
It's not Quakers America, is it?
Sith or Jedi
I grew up impersonating Princess Leia [or rather “being” Leia'] so Jedi it is.
Why do you insist on giving girls a bad name by constantly displaying that sex appeal is your first trait when it comes to judging footballers for example?
Haha, when have I ever done that? Seriously, do you think I consider Yaya Toure world class and ahead of Mascherano cause I like his hammies?
I never judge footballers' skills based on their looks, and if I ever said omg let's buy X cause he's hot, I was most likely joking. But sarcasm doesn't travel well over the internet.
Ok, so basically I sometimes comment on how X Y Z looks like just to spice things up and I find it funny to see the reactions, just some light fun, because people should already know I'm just joking. For instance, it so happens that Gourcuff, who is a greatly talented footballer – I think anyone that ever saw him play would agree - and would fit nicely with us, is also drop dead gorgeous. Why should I ignore that?
Why can guys watch Female Tennis for some hottie, and even openly claim that's the only reason they bare to watch, and I can't express my opinion regarding a good looking footballer? Hmmmm???
But yeah, keep applying double standards.
Your favourite childhood memory?
Definitely the day I reenacted Star Wars Episode IV with my toys. I even built the X-wings battleships the Imperial fleet used from some sort of lego we had back then. I was six and I player Leia's role myself, since we didn't have barbie dolls in Romania yet. I think my fav soft toy animal, a human-like dog played Luke and an orange plastic bear was Han Solo.
If you could sign anyone for Barca who would it be?
Yoann Gourcuff. CAUSE HE'S SO HAWT!!!!!
Frankly, I'm most concerned about the defence. We have a packed midfield – even if Xavi's gonna turn 30 next year and Iniesta seems to have recovered rather badly from the injury – and we have a nice attack, because I believe Bojan is the future.
But the back 4 has been rather off this season. So I'll say Albiol, cause he deserves a nice team.
Why you so weird?
Because it's fun. I don't want to be average, I want to stand out.
Michael Jackson … A legend that will never die?
Never been a fan, but I think the music industry owes him a lot, so he was pretty much a legend while alive and now that he's dead, his flaws [aka the possible child molester persona] will be forgiven and he will live on through the music alone.
Who is your favourite poster on the forum and why?
These days, Hurley – cause he antagonizes me SO goddamn much, it's almost sexual.
If you could have an orgy with 5 guys from the forum, who would they be?
The Portuguese forum.
Do you still hate Yiddo and Ruudlover?
I don't hate them, I actually find it funny how they “consider themselves better” and hold the moral high ground when it comes to hot footballers........lol.
Truth is, they're both inferior to me, upbringing, education, culture, style, so I can just watch them bury themselves with their anti me tirades from my throne.
Benfica are scum, yet you lend them players. Why?
I'm not in charge of FCB, unfortunately, otherwise that sort of outrageous thing wouldn't happen. Besides, we lend them a crap player muahahahahah.
How long until I see you working as a hooker in Amsterdam like the rest of your peers?
Hold your horses big boy and stick to wanking over printouts of me, cause that won't ever happen.
How old do you have to be before you can say someone died of old age?
With the medical progress of today, I'd say over 90. My Grandma is turning 80 soon and I wouldn't say she's old.
What got you into watching football?
Ronaldo the original. I saw him in a Nike? ad in 1998 and thought he was cute. I decided I wanted to see more of him than 30 seconds randomly during the day, so I started watching football. Funny, but the only Brazil games I remember watching at that WC were the semifinal and the final. Besides Ronaldo and some others, I discovered the sport itself, and frankly, with both parents and grandpas crazy about it, it was just a matter of time until I became a fan as well.
So, we know that all gypsies are crooks, the question is are you innately born with these "skills" or is there some kind of village apprenticeship you have to go through?
OK. I could probably reply this in a funny way, humouring you. But I think A. stereotyping gypsies as thieves and crooks is really not helping their cause and it should probably stop.
And B. stereotyping all Romanians to be gypsies is just like saying that all English have bad teeth, all Americans are fat and stupid and all French cowards, etc etc.
I can take the gypsy banter, but I think it's overdone by now.
Why do you get so obsessed with footballers?
I get obsessed with a lot of things, but since this is a football forum, discussing footballers comes up a lot more, doesn't it?
Have you ever been abroad?
Yeah, it's my aim to get out of this country at least once a year. I've been to Lisbon, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Budapest and hopefully more to come soon
Why Barcelona?
I started off as a mere fangirl, and I think the fact that I'm willing to admit it should mean I have outgrown this. So, I had a huge crush on Kluivert and followed him and his career, even though the means were limited those days. And then he moved to stay to Barca and between 1999 and 2001, I turned into a proper fan, because, in my heart, the club simply got bigger than the player, to the point of being my favourite thing ever for a while.
To my good name, I never rooted for AC Milan.
Is there an EPL team you follow?
I like Liverpool, to this day, I consider them my second team, but I don't follow them anymore [as in watching games etc.] because I don't have the time really. I do want them to do well and I considered their victory over Milan scum a personal victory of mine
Is it really humid, or is your insane afro intentional?
Haha. I wouldn't call it intentional, but it's naturally curly and I can't be bothered nor want to straighten it. Are you saying it doesn't look good on me??
How do you feel about DP?
Despite some misunderstandings in the past, I think he's a nice guy, just drew some silly conclusions from my ironic speech. I get along with him - apart from all issues concerning Zlatan - and I hope he doesn't think I'm a stupid fangirl anymore.
Why do you have such a low self esteem?
I have tremendous high self esteem. I am vain as fvck and consider myself the greatest. However, I function on feedback, just like any entertainer. And not getting any, or getting negative feedback can get me down, for a while. Then I remember I am amazing or someone makes me laugh and it's all right in my world again.
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?
Haha, no. The underground is actually state property and they can expropriate you if oil/gas etc is found. Or not. I cannot be bothered to check the law.
There’s negativity between you and Yiddo, why is this?
We're the titties alpha and omega .
OK, serious answer: I don't like her, and she doesn't like me, and quite frankly, if you cannot see the differences between us that lead to this mutual dislike, then you need to check your understanding levels.
What makes you so sure you are going to heaven?
I'm not so sure or sure at all, but this is because I don't see religion like this, with such definitive distinctions: bad guys, good guys, heaven, hell. First of all, it is a little simplistic to believe that all mankind eventually divides in good people, that will go to a place of eternal bliss and bad people, that will rot in the pits of damnation. Most people aren't all good nor all bad. Heck, everyone's mixed.
And second of all, the idea of living all your conscious life only for whatever might happen in the afterlife is a little depressing.
In short: I don't believe in heaven/hell, and I have the feeling this was an invention of the Church, to keep people in check. But seriously, thanks for the question, because it got me thinking and got me to conclude this, as these sort of things don't really come up in daily conversation.
Regarding the above, are you concerned that you may not make it?
Nope, cause there's nowhere to make it to. Life is what you live on earth. I have no concerns/inquisitions/fears over what happens after you croak.
Why are you such an attention seeker?
Because it's fun innit. Frankly, I don't see why this is a bad thing. Blending in is for sheep, and frankly, I don't want to be part of the herd. I'd rather stand out and if I have to act up for it, then I will.
What other sports do you like? Do you play any yourself?
I'm a calamity with sports, I can't even kick a ball, so nah. I think I could be good at something individual that requires a lot of discipline, but I never really tried anything.
I used to like basketball when I was in high school, mainly cause I got to see the school team's games and we were the best! I still like to watch high profile games, but I barely have time for football these days.
Same F1. Major Ferrari/Schumacher fan, and I used to be glued to the TV during his confrontations with Hakkinen. Ditto for Moto GP, but I just don't have time for anything. It's almost a miracle that I still try to watch other games than Barca's.
Do you believe in signs? And if you do, do you 'look' for them in order to decide on something in your life?
I do. It's not that I believe in the paranormal, but I think some things are more than just they appear to be. I also believe coincidences have more to them. But I don't “look” for them, they just seem to happen. But they do influence my life a lot, I guess – basically the last 2 years and a bit have been controlled by coincidences – helping me see things in a different perspective. Not necessarily the good perspective, and I often take silly, rash decision, but that is, after-all, who I am.
How do you deal with negativity/criticism?
I have a short fuse, so not well. Especially when [I feel] it's not warranted. But any feedback is better than none and I usually learn from it. On the spot though, I feel wronged and I can feel blood pulsating in my ears.
Do look forward to settling down with a hubby and maybe a bunch of kids etc?
Haha, yeah. Despite all the sexsexsex I seem to spout around, I am a one man's woman. And I can see myself with kids, it'd be great, I'd love a couple of kids.
However, the chances of that happening aren't high. In high school, I was predicted to divorce a few times, which seems likely, since the men I'd marry wouldn't be the man I need, and funnily enough, I don't want children out of wedlock.
I may end up alone with a dozen cats.
What forum member would you like to see return the most, if any?
Rob The Red, he was quite an awesome guy, nice sense of humour and I liked his thinking in certain matters. Also, he had that Imperial Trooper pelvic thrust MSN smilie....:which I lost. If anyone has it, please do not hesitate!
Would you ever like to move to another country? If so, where and why?
Yeah, Romania's a shithole that's not gonna fix itself...ever. Of all places, I'd love to move to Barcelona, mainly so I can be close to the team and maybe even see some games. But I guess that's any away Barca fan's dream.
I guess that seems like a very simplistic answer, but the food is excellent, the weather is nice, the people are cool, the city is beautiful and buzzing, I feel I'd fit in, somehow. Maybe one day, Barcachica and I can move there and live happily ever after.
Interview compiled by Lil Yiddo with questions submitted by members of Soccer 24-7.
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